


Just Doo It

by purplerosesforlarry



Category: Scooby Doo - All Media Types, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/F, M/M, No Straight Characters, Portland Oregon, Weirdness, Why Did I Write This?, i wrote this at 1 am im sorry, please do not judge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplerosesforlarry/pseuds/purplerosesforlarry
Summary: the scooby doo gang goes on a wild adventure in portland, oregon and they find several new friends and enemies along the way, including cody and noel, as well as the beloved cast of spongebob.
Relationships: Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Cody Ko/Noel Miller, Daphne Blake/Velma Dinkley, Fred Jones/Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, SpongeBob SquarePants/Patrick Star
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Just Doo It

**Author's Note:**

> i promise i am not insane, i wrote this originally as a joke, but let me know if u liked it! thank u so much for reading!! love you all xoxo. enjoy this wild ride. :)

It was a dark and stormy night in Portland, Oregon. The headlights of the mystery machine cut through the thick fog and harsh rain as Fred pulled the van into the parking lot of the small hotel the gang would spend the night in. Scooby had needed to poop for the last seven hours of their trip (from the middle of nowhere in Idaho to Oregon) and had already peed out the window three different times, one of which he missed and soaked Shaggy. But Shaggy didn’t seem to mind, he would do anything for his best friend Scooby. As soon as Velma slid the van door open, Scooby went sprinting for the nearest grass, jumping through a massive puddle on the way. Velma helped Daphne out of her seat in the back and held her hand on the way into the lobby after they gathered all they would need for the night. Shaggy and Fred stayed behind as the girls went up to their rooms, waiting for Scooby to finish dumping a massive load off at the wasteland… if you catch my drift. Because they definitely did; Scoob stunk up the entire premise of the hotel with a rancid stench tasting of wet eggs and horse conch drenched in sour mayonnaise. The silly stinker came prancing up to the boys as Fred greeted him with, 

“You feeling better, buddy?”

Shaggy chimed in, “Yeah, it smells like you’ll be good for, like uh, the next couple of days, that’s for sure, ain’t it Fred.” 

He said the last part as he playfully elbowed Fred on their arm, their close proximity immediately unfolding to both of them, who stepped apart in sync, afraid of showing too much affection because of an undetermined amount of compressed emotions building up inside each of them every time they accidentally touched hands or smiled at each other after finishing a hard and long day of solving mysteries. 

They shrugged it off, like always, and the three of them walked past the sliding doors, which were smeared with a wide array of bugs’ corpses, then up the creaky stairs and to the left where they found their respective rooms. Scooby followed Shaggy into the room where Velma waited, and Fred closed the door behind him to find Daphne looking out the window. She turned when she heard the click of the heavy door closing but was quick to call Fred over to show him what she was looking at outside the thin glass. As Fred settled in place next to Daphne, their gazes soon fixed on the wide river only a hundred feet from their hotel, the strange bubbling illuminated by the full moon. It became more aggressive the longer they looked, but only seconds passed by. 

“When did you notice this?” Fred asked.

“I went to shut the blinds, and it just caught my eye. Jeepers Fred, I don’t know what it is. It’s sorta scaring me!” Daphne turned to hug onto him out of worry. They had only just solved the giant sand crab mystery; they didn’t need another one so soon! 

“I am sure it will be okay Daph, there’s no need to worry. How about you go to bed while I stay up reading my instruction manual to help us through this new mystery that we will solve tomorrow?” Fred pried her off of him and sat at the small desk by the window to get to work. 

As Daphne begrudgingly wandered over to bed, she thought about her and Fred. Ever since they started solving these mysteries, Fred hadn’t been there for her the way she needed someone to be. She understood how much he loved learning and improving himself, but he didn’t need to do it every single day. After putting on her pajamas, Daphne turned her back to him, stole the one pillow on his side of the bed, and fell into a deep sleep thinking about how she deserved better. 

Meanwhile, across the paper thin walls and in the room adjacent to theirs, Velma and Shaggy were going at it. Scooby sat shocked in horror as he tried to block out the horrid sounds and the banging of the headboard against the wall that was sure to leave cracks. If someone walked down the hallway at this ungodly hour of the night, they probably would have thought that they had a murder mystery to solve, not that two of the mystery solvers themselves were destroying each other while their dog, who had just left an atomic bomb outside the first floor, hid his eyes behind his ears in terror. 

This of course kept Fred from his studies and angered him to the point of going over there himself, and, as he should have suspected, he opened the door with the same disgusted look that Scooby was hiding while trembling under a blanket in the corner of the room. Fred was quick to shut the door, but opened it slightly again to call for Scooby. They decided to leave the hotel, not caring how unsafe this area of Oregon was at three hours past midnight. The teen and the dog meandered through the fog, uncaring of the rain, and past the entrance of the towering bridge leading over the said river. As they reached the rocky riverbank, lightning struck, nearly scaring Scoobs out of his fur. Fred caringly picked him up and cradled the massive great dane in his strong arms like a baby. He walked up to the water, with all the confidence he could muster in the moment. The water continued to bubble, looking like the boiling water for the hot dogs he and Shaggy had made the day before. Fred and Scooby made nervous eye contact, but there were no feelings attached behind it like there always was with Shaggy. Fred took a leap of faith and began to wade into the water. After all of their crazy adventures, he almost expected to be pulled under, but what he didn’t expect was for a pineapple to bob to the surface of the bubbles. 

“Ruh, roh, ere we go ag’n!” Scooby exclaimed. 

“Hey, buddy, calm down, it’s just a pineapple, right? According to my observations earlier, acidic chemicals, natural or not, in food will sometimes cause water to bubble like it is now. The acidity of the food mixes with the ph levels of the H2O and causes a chemical reaction like this one. I don’t believe it’s anything to fret over, Scoobs.”

The poor dog just looked up at the genius with a confused grin, but was calmed nonetheless at the attempted explanation. As the pair waded deeper up to Fred’s luscious and juicy thighs, they saw that it wasn’t just a pineapple floating; it was also a single miniature version of the Easter Island heads and a strange flat-bottomed, top-rounded rock. This is where Fred lost all attempts at explanation and scientific back-up. 

“Gee, I am not sure how to explain this one. First of all, rocks can’t float, and that sure does look like an Easter Island head. That is just so strange, Scoob, I don’t know why these mysterious objects would be in such close proximity to each other, let alone why this particular section of the river is bubbling so much!” Fred tried to understand what was going on in front of their very eyes, when...

PLOP! An apparent door on the rock creaked open, and out jumped a starfish.  
UHUHU! A sponge emerged from the pineapple and filled back up with water.  
“Why did you two idiots have to bring me into this! I should be taking a bath right now,” a squid yelled to the sponge and starfish. 

Eye contact was made once again, as Fred and Scooby stood there, shocked at the scene unfolding in front of them. 

“Hey, you, what’s your name? I’m Fred and this is my dog Scooby. How can you speak? What’s happeni-” Fred started, but was soon interrupted by the grouchy squid. 

“Look, I frankly don’t care who you are or what you’re doing here; I just want to go take a well-deserved bath! And no, I don’t know what’s going on either. These idiots were my neighbors and I don’t want to be involved in this mess! But as long as you speak to me, call me Squidward, for god’s sake,” the odd-shaped pale blue creature stated. 

Just as lightning illuminated the dark sky above, reminding them of the mystery they came to solve, the sponge spoke up in a surprisingly squeaky voice, “Hiya! My name’s Spongebob, and my best friend here is Patrick! We would love to tell you all about what’s going on tomorrow! Just let us rest up so that we have energy to hang out with you guys! We can’t wait to become best friends! Right Patrick?” he nudged the starfish as they began to sing, 

“F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea!”  
Patrick stopped them, his deep voice contrasting the sponge’s, “Well, Spongebob, we aren’t in the deep blue sea anymore, we don’t know where we are! Huhhahauaha!” 

“Yea Patrick, I guess you’re right! Hehehehehe!” Spongebob held onto Patrick’s stubby starfish arm as they floated in the water and watched the storm above them. 

Fred realized he was still holding onto Scooby, and though he didn’t mind, his arms weighed him down with the strange situation. 

“C’mon Scoobs, lemme put you down. I don’t think they want to talk right now, let’s just go back to the hotel.”

“Roh-kay.” The pair looked over their shoulders one last time at Spongebob and Patrick cuddled up atop the bubbles, and as Squidward slammed the door of his floating house shut. They sulked back up to their hotel rooms, separating at the doors, a wordless parting weighing between them as the heavy doors clicked shut one after another. 

Scooby fell right asleep, taking in the serenity of his now-quiet hotel room, but Fred layed awake next to Daphne, frustrations of the abruptness and dismissiveness of Spongebob bubbling to the surface of Fred’s emotions. He needed to release his steam somehow, but he didn’t want to wake Daphne up. He knew what he needed to do, and he needed it now. He didn’t understand why mysteries always turned him on so much; it was like his mini mystery machine roared to life whenever they went exploring at night. And golly, the thunderstorm too, that’s what did it to him. He made a plan, and he would execute it flawlessly. 

As Fred slid out of bed and walked around so he could pick up Daphne, he saw that the clock read 3:48 AM, but that didn’t stop him from swinging his girlfriend over his shoulder and tip-toeing into the room next to him. 

“Shaggy,” Fred scream-whispered, “C’mon Shaggy, wake up, let’s go to my room.” 

As the sleeping boy-man groggily peeled his swamp-green eyes open, he mumbled, “What the- jeepers, Fred, like um what’re you doin’ up at this ungoshly hour?!”

“Shhh, c’mon, get up and follow me.” 

Shaggy rubbed his eyes and slithered out of bed, sliding his bunny slippers onto his obscenely hairy feet. Fred gently placed Daphne down in Shaggy’s indent in the bed. She didn’t wake up, but instead, settled into place by turning over and becoming Velma’s big spoon. As the two boys carefully walked out of the girls’ room without creaking any floorboards, they heard the promising click of their room’s door behind them before Fred grabbed Shaggy’s thin waist and slammed his back against the door. As soon as their hands were on each other, they began to kiss with the hourly hunger that Shaggy and Scooby have for giant, meaty sandwiches. Fred pulled back, smelling the slight ham and cheese combo on Shaggy’s breath and grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. 

As Fred and Shaggy laid down on the bed side by side, Fred asked, “hey babe are you ready for this? I’m so excited to do this, I've been waiting all day.”

“Yea, I’m ready, like I trust you and uh love you so much Freddie,” Shaggy smiled up at his boy. 

“Ok, I’m gonna do it.” Fred started tickling Shaggy, all the way from his armpits down to his big stinky feet and back up to his hairy nostrils, one of which had a little boogie hanging out of it. 

“HAAH Freddie, this is too much! It like feels soooo goooood!” Fred continued to tickle him, laughing more and more with his best pal. As they tickled each other, ocean blue eyes staring into river green eyes, they felt a connection stronger than ever before. Even though they were in respective relationships with their girls, they had always had a soft spot for each other. They tickled often, never letting Velma or Daphne know about it, and by morning, everything was always back to normal. But lately, the love between the boys and the girls had begun to fade, at the same time Fred and Shaggy began to grow feelings for each other, which they usually struggled to show. Once they were done tickling for the night, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, sweaty armpits and smelly feet entangled beneath the thick, scratchy hotel blanket. They didn’t even care about what their “girlfriends” would think when they all woke up; they just wanted to be with each other. This was going to be a turning point where suppressed emotions bubbled to the surface and finally let loose like water reaching its boiling temperature. 

A mere two hours later, the sunshine peeked through the translucent curtains and dust particles danced in rays across the room. Fred’s eyes opened in sync with Shaggy opening those very curtains, smiling up at him and reaching over to give his newly-declared boyfriend a kiss on his very hairy tummy. Shaggy smiled back down at him, patting Fred on the head in admiration. 

As soon as the boys were up and showered, it had been 30 minutes since Shaggy opened the curtains and faced their new reality of being in a relationship. Just as night had turned to day, they must all turn to the next chapter and face the reality that Shaggy with Velma and Fred with Daphne was not working. Fred looked out the window to see that the river was indeed still bubbling, the same as before, but the sun cast a new sense of magic over its sparkling water, perhaps symbolizing a new hope for solving today’s mystery. 

Across the separating wall, Daphne groggily woke up from her sound sleep to find that she was holding tightly onto her best friend. She was careful not to move, so as not to wake Velma, but her eyebrows crinkled in confusion at her mysterious movement from her and Fred’s bed last night. Velma soon woke after feeling the shift of breath on her neck and turned over in Daphne’s arms, just as shocked at the situation. 

“Good morning, Daph. How’d you get in here? Where’s Shaggy?” Velma asked, not necessarily upset, just wondering. 

“Well jeepers Velms, I was just gonna ask you the same thing. Not to be weird or anything, but I’m really comfy right now, and I think, maybe we could stay here for a few more minutes. You know, get some good girl time in before having to face the boys,” Daphne offered, holding great courage behind her bold words. 

Velma smiled at this, her eyes crinkling behind her large glasses, “Of course, Daph. I would love to cuddle with you, and quite frankly, I don’t care about how we got here. If I'm being honest, Shaggy is getting on my nerves lately, and having tickle fights with him just isn’t the same as it used to be. He only seems to care about himself and he can be so stupid sometimes, and I just want someone who can love me for who I am, while still being successful on their own. Gosh, Daph, I didn’t mean to spill this all onto you, it's just that I’ve been holding on to it for so long and--”

Her speech was cut off by Daphne leaning in and kissing her with more love than she had ever received from her boyfriend. There was passion, there was emotion, and there were promising arms still wrapped around her; a promise that had long ago been broken by that very boyfriend, as Velma had recently found out that Shaggy and Fred were cheating behind both their backs. The thought left her mind as she was reminded that on her very back that held his betrayal, Daphne’s hands now lay as they broke apart the kiss for the breaths they had been holding. Daphne, staring deep into her hazel eyes, brushed Velma’s bangs out of her face so that she could tell her how beautiful she was. Velma blushed a deep red, one that matched the pretty skirt she usually wore when they went on all these adventures. 

“I’m sorry if that came out of nowhere, I just - you look so beautiful and you wouldn’t shut up, and I - well, I’ve really liked you for a long time and I feel the same way about Fred, like he doesn’t even care about me! He only cares about his stupid inventions and solving mysteries and he acts like I’m so much dumber than him, which I know I’m not, but it’s really messing with me and - ugh - I just need you Velma,” Daphne let out a well-deserved breath as she went to hide her face in Velma’s neck as the embarassment of her confession sank in. 

“Hey, hey, jeepers Daph it’s okay, I got you. I really like you too.”

At this, Daphne picked her head up, looked Velma in the eyes, smiled, and kissed her once more. 

\-----one hour later-----

By this point, everyone was up and dressed, but Scooby, oblivious as always, was the only one ready to face the day. Nobody wanted to jump down from their high and crash into reality with the truth that both previous relationships had been broken on both ends. It was like that thin wall was the only reminder of the unknowing other side. Velma had told Daphne about the boys cheating, and Daphne wasn’t surprised. 

“Okay Daph, I can’t wait this out any longer; I’m hungry and you promised we could go get breakfast by the river. I’m opening the door,” Velma declared, and right as she went to turn the lock on their door, a knock sounded along with Shaggy’s giggles and Fred’s “shhh!”

Daphne ran over at this sound, grabbed Velma’s hand for comfort, and opened the door without a second thought. As the door swung open with an obnoxiously alarming creak, Fred and Shaggy’s heads snapped up to meet the girls’. 

“Uh, hi,” Fred sheepishly started, “We just came to ask if you girls would like to go out to breakfast before we start the mystery?”

Shaggy added on, “Yeah, um like we’re like sorry that we didn’t stay in our own rooms last night, so we wanted to like make it up to you maybe.”

Velma and Daphne looked at each other before laughing, sending the boys into a state of confusion. They held their still intertwined hands up, Fred and Shaggy now even more confused. 

“Wha-” Fred started. 

“Yep, we’re as together as you are. Neither of our relationships were working out, so we faced the truth instead of being idiots and hiding it like you guys. We’re happy and you’re happy. End of discussion. Now let’s go eat some pancakes!”

Once they packed up the Mystery Machine, the four of them (along with Scooby now, who had fallen back asleep during the whole relationship thing) wandered down the cloudy street towards some sketchy 24-hour diner they had seen when they drove in the night before. Jinkies, so much has happened in the last twelve hours, but it’s all for the better, all of them thought to some extent. Scooby is the only static part of our lives, they also thought, as he jumped through another puddle reflecting a rainbow from a nearby gasoline spill. The jingle of the diner door opening brought them back into conversation, as Fred, always one to take the lead, told the waitress, whose name was Barry, that there would be five of them. She responded with, “Sorry, sir, no dogs allowed. You’ll have to tie ‘em up outside.”

“But like, he’ll behave, he’s not like other dogs, I um like promise,” Shaggy pleaded. 

“Sure, stud muffin. You sound real convincing. Take the stinker outside or I’ll have to ask y’all to leave.” Barry was not having any of it. She rolled her eyes and snapped her gum between her dentures. Her fading yellow hair matched what was supposed to be the whites of her eyes. Shaggy reluctantly pushed open the door, tied his best friend to a nearby pole, and entered back inside with the jingle that had quickly lost its sense of invitation. He slumped over to the back booth where Barry had taken the group and slid in next to Fred. 

The four friends got a wide variety of breakfast foods; Shaggy got three breakfast burritos with extra eggs and cheese (sure to make him gassy later), Fred got a tall stack of blueberry pancakes, and Velma and Daphne shared their separate orders of french toast and waffles, along with the milkshake that they ordered, even though it was far too early to do so as it wasn’t even noon yet. Fred explained what he saw with Scooby at the river, and as the group finished up eating and chatting happily, Barry came to deliver their check, but it wasn’t the only item she brought to the table. She slid a poorly folded piece of pale blue paper onto the table where Daphne sat and then walked away before anyone could question it. 

Daphne looked up at the others, eyebrows crinkled in confusion, before she unfolded the note and read aloud, “Don’t read this out loud,” she paused for a second, reading the rest, “Oh, jinkies! I can’t say anything else until the boys leave the restaurant. Well, jeepers, I guess you should go then,” she addressed Fred and Shaggy. They paid and then were quick to leave because Shaggy had been antsy to see Scooby again and “like um rescue him from the cruel world outside.” The second the door jingled shut behind the boys, Barry wandered over to the girls’ table, broom in one hand and keys in another. She leaned down close to Daphne and Velma, and her eggy breath would have been shown in a cloud of yellow smoke if this was a cartoon. 

“You kids have been assigned a mission. I saw one of those idiots that you were with, I saw him and the dog last night at the river looking at the bubbles,” Barry started, her voice like sandpaper, “Now, I need you two to listen, really listen to me right now. This diner, that hotel you stayed in, this river, heck, this entire city of Portland, you see, it’s the greatest city in the entire world. We have the best everything here, and those morons in the river causing the bubbles are trying to take that away from us.”

“Jinkies! So what do we have to do to help you guys?” Daphne asked.

“Hush child, I was getting there. Don’t you ever interrupt me again, you hear me? So what you gotta do is you have to take these keys,” she handed the fluorescent yellow key to Velma, “and you gotta go up the world’s biggest elevator in the middle of town and at the top, you’ll see a long hallway. You need to go in the first door to the left, then turn right, and in the third door left of the middle, you’ll find these two stud muffins named Cody Kolodziejzyk and Noel Miller. Now you have to remember how to pronounce that name, so I hope you were listening. They will tell you what to do. Leave right this instant, don’t tell the idiots, and don’t return. I gotta clean this hell hole up.” Barry turned her back on them, clearly uncaring about anything but herself and her “great” city that was starting to smell just as bad as her. 

Daphne and Velma left without another word, only an exchanged glance and head nod so as to say, “let’s leave before Barry makes anything weirder than it already is.” They released an anxious breath when they stepped outside and heard the jingle above the door for what would be the last time. 

“Jeepers, Daph, this is gonna be one heck of an adventure. It looks like it’s just you and me, and I couldn’t be any happier about it,” Velma said as she leaned up to give her new girlfriend a kiss on her cheek, which was rosy from the cold wind blowing around them. The girls intertwined hands as they began to walk down the street towards the giant, ugly elevator conveniently located in the middle of downtown Portland. It was a mix of mossy concrete and fingerprint-stained glass that loomed over them and started to intimidate Daphne as she spoke up, 

“Gosh, Velms this isn’t like any other mystery we’ve ever solved before, and even though I’m super scared, I feel safer with you by my side.” They squeezed each other’s hands in reassurance at the same time, resulting in giggles and “jinx”es. After their ascent and journey left, right, and to the left of the middle, they knocked on the blue door for good measure, before using the yellow key to uncover who these “stud muffins” really were. Velma turned the brass handle, slowly opened the door, and peeked her head around the door, before announcing their presence with “Hello, is anyone here?” 

“Hey guys! What’s up, it’s ya boi, Cody!” Cody said enthusiastically, turning in his big leather gaming chair to face the girls.

“Hey Cody, do you smell up dog?” asked the other, who they assumed was Noel, from atop Cody’s lap and within his very toned arms. 

“Nah, man, what’s up dog?”

“Haha nice one, nothing much, what’s up with you, dawg?”

“Oh my god, Noel you gotta stop doing that shit, we’re getting too old for this,” Cody unwrapped his arms from around Noel, pushing him up and standing besides him, “Welcome, guests, how are you guys? You’re here for the mission right? Sorry, let me backtrack, I’m Cody, and this is Noel, my best buddy,” he put his arm around the slightly shorter and very racially ambiguous man, both smiling.

Daphne took the lead and spoke up, “Hi Cody and Noel, it’s very nice to meet you both. Barry sent us and said that we needed to know your last name and that the whole city is in danger and implied that the bubbles are much more important than just being bubbles.” 

“Nah, you don’t need to know my last name, we really don’t care about that at all and Barry is just tryna mess with you,” Cody laughed, “And yea, so basically me and Noel own all the hotels and restaurants in Portland, including that diner, and we got into a bit of an argument over Noel’s livestream with the Krusty Krab, and so basically like Spongebob freaked out and went all crazy and shit and he and his friend blew up Bikini Bottom because they took Mr. Krabbs’ phone out of the waterproof case. And I only know this because it’s what Barry said, and she’s married to Krabbs. But the bottom line is that Mr. Krabbs threatened to blow up the sewage pipes under all of our buildings and blow shit everywhere if we didn’t give him $69,000, and we’re broke, so you guys gotta help us, like right now. We’re desperate, and we need you to make sure he doesn’t let the diarrhea volcano erupt.”

Several hours, drinks, and movies later, the four of them had constructed a master plan to execute that very night. Velma and Daphne quickly realized that Cody and Noel were the funniest and realest people they’ve ever met, far better than Fred or Shaggy could ever dream of being. They found out the guys were 30 years old soon going on 85, they lived up in this storage room of an apartment because they considered themselves “too powerful” for the rest of the city, and the only hobby they kept besides managing all hotels and restaurants in Portland was doing a weekly podcast that always got uploaded a week late. 

“Ok, so as soon as the sun sets, I’ll go get the boat ready, Cody you get the fireworks, Daphne you get the sword, and Velma get the body bags,” Noel explained, his voice as strong as the plan itself, “Then, as soon as Barry closes up the diner for the night and goes to lock the front door, Daphne will kill Barry, Velma will hide her in the bag, and me and Cody will be on a rowboat setting off fireworks into the river to exterminate all of Bikini Bottom once and for all. As Cody would say, it’s a frictionless plan. There is absolutely no way this could go wrong. Alright, alright let’s do this shit.”

Exactly two hours and thirty seven minutes later, Daphne stood waiting in the shadows outside the diner. Her hand trembled as she held the sword up, seeing herself in the shiny reflection of the unused metal. She took a deep breath, calmed her nerves, and reminded herself that this was for the best. One life sacrificed for the betterment of hundreds of others, right? If Barry died, Daphne had learned mere hours earlier, then the entire city of Portland would be saved from an inevitable sewage explosion. The stinky woman had been planning with Mr. Krabbs for quite some time now, and she thought that sending the girls up to Cody and Noel would just result in the perfect distraction for her to execute her plan. Little did she know, Noel and Cody actually knew what she was up to, because every time she called down to Mr. Krabs, they had interfered with her phone line using their software engineering skills. 

Two hours and thirty eight minutes now. The sword was quiet in Daphne’s left hand. Scooby, Shaggy, and Fred were god knows where at this point, and the other three had taken their places for the show to begin. Daphne didn’t hear the jingle at the door because it was blocked out by the ringing in her own ears when she raised the sword like the sun had risen that morning, and she saw Barry’s breath leave her life in tandem as her own returned to hers in relief. Velma came out from the safety of dozens of feet away as she heard the signal of Daphne banging the bloodied sword against the wall three loud times. They quickly wrapped the body in the bag, dragged it down the ghostly empty street, and slid it into the water along with the sword with a reverence only reserved for someone who was planning on releasing sewage pipes across an entire city. 

The girls ran the few feet over to where Cody and Noel began to paddle the small wooden rowboat and shouted at them to hurry up, using the same humor they managed to keep throughout the day so far. What the girls couldn’t see was that on the boat, Cody and Noel argued over who got to throw in the fireworks. 

“Ah c’mon man I bought you breakfast yesterday, lemme throw it in!” Noel fought, pausing his intense paddling and causing the boat to make a u-turn because Cody continued to paddle. 

“Look, bro I don’t even care about it anymore, you can throw it in if you want. But only under one circumstance: if you throw it back first,” Cody said, in serious humor. 

“Seriously man, I’m not gonna do that, and also you missed a good opportunity to point out that we made a u-turn faster than Heather and Brittany did on Girl Defined when they saw their unholy crush, just sayin’,” Noel laughed, not realizing that Cody wasn’t joking.

“Dude,” Cody started, but went silent quickly, dropping his gaze to Noel’s voluptuous lips, “you better knock it off with your arguing before I kiss those words right off that stupid pretty face of yours.” Noel looked taken aback for a split second. He scooted over an inch, closing the space between them on the small wooden plank of the boat, looking at Cody’s bright and shining eyes under the moonlight. He closed the space between them, kissing Cody with more unspoken secrets than the night sky. Noel’s hands enveloped Cody’s soft face in a hold that said, “I love you bro, but I want you to be more than a bro now.” Cody held on to Noel’s arms in a promise that whispered, “I love you too, man. My man.” 

They pulled apart for breath, but before they could be met with the reality of love in each other’s eyes, Daphne called out, “Hurry up, lovebirds, we don’t have all night!” Noel and Cody finally looked at each other and laughed, silently agreeing that they would work this out as soon as they got back home. They continued to paddle paddle paddle their way under the bridge and over to the bubbling areas, Daphne and Velma walking along the shore at the same pace. 

Their boat floated a mere six feet away from the epicenter of the bubbles, and Cody pulled out the fireworks for Noel to throw into the water. He handed them over, their fingertips brushing in the exchange, and Noel got a lighter out of his pocket. 

“Ok Cody, so I’m gonna light this, and then you have fifteen seconds to start rowing as hard as you can. I’ll toss it at the ten second mark. Three two one go!” Noel sparked the flame and watched as the fire began parading down the string. Cody used all of his diving and marathon-running strength to row them to safety, while counting up from one. At ten, Noel threw the firework into the bubbles with all his strength before helping Cody row them even farther away. The last five seconds slowed in swirling time, and they had reached the other end of the shoreline as the explosion created a water show that happened to be quite colorful and romantic. Done with all this excitement and killing and saving, Cody and Noel decided to lay down in the rocky shore, holding hands and looking at the stars, waiting waiting waiting for the explosion to simmer down so that they could go home and not live in fear of a massive diarrhea leakage. Cody leaned on Noel’s shoulder and let out a sigh of relief. 

On the other side of the river, Daphne and Velma sat on a washed up piece of driftwood, talking about how they should have realized their feelings earlier and how they “wasted so much time.” Daphne brushed a wild strand of hair out of Velma’s eyes so that she could see their beauty reflecting behind her glasses. Velma kissed Daphne gently on her blushing nose and felt her heart flutter. 

Above the explosion, above the dead souls of Barry, Mr. Krabbs, and the rest of Bikini Bottom, above the still water, above above above sat Patrick and Spongebob on the moon. They weren’t sure if they died or if they magically got sent up to their heaven, but their feet dangled off the edge of a crater as they looked down on the beautiful wasteland that is Earth. Patrick let out a well-deserved fart and Spongebob giggled at it. 

Gary crawled out of some distant crater on the other side of the moon, not sure where he was, but not feeling anything really, because he was just a snail anyway.  
Squidward ended up in the generic heaven. There were angels playing harps and golden clouds and jazz music. He would soon join heaven’s choir and become the lead in the clarinet section.

Back in the hotel parking lot in the Mystery Machine, Shaggy and Fred tickled one another’s hairy and pretty-smelly-by-now armpits and feet, and afterwards, they tried to lay on the backseat, but Shaggy’s long legs didn’t fit, so he had to put his feet out the window. They listened to rock songs on the radio and remained oblivious to many things around them, including the giant ghost underneath Shaggy’s feet. 

Scooby sat shivering at the front tires of the van, tail between his legs, and ears over his eyes once again. He had seen the ghost and did not know how else to react. He realized how pathetic he was for being so scared of something existing just within his own mind, and he pried his protective layer of ears off his eyes and gave himself a new sense of reality by doing so. He decided right then to take control of his life and not put up with all the foolishness that his human owner does every single day. “It’s ridiculous!” he thought. He decided to live his life as the main character starting now, and all he needed was a slogan. “Scooby dooby doo?” he wondered. No. It needed to be creative, innovative, inspirational. “Just Doo It!” he thought out loud. “Just Doo It!” And with that, he ran off into the night to solve the mystery of the bubbles he had seen the night before.


End file.
